Using Hobonichi in 2024: A6 HON Book Journal (& Reading in January)
2024-02-04
As I was writing in my book journal this morning I decided it would be a good opportunity to write a blog post about it! I did briefly go over how I used all my Hobonichi journals in this post (warning: picture heavy) but I think this is also a good opportunity to write about what I read this last January.
The HON
On the Yearly Overview pages, I keep track of which days I read. January was pretty good, there were only three days that I didn't read.
The yearly index is how I keep track of how many pages I've read. I don't really know why I keep track of this, I just find it to be a lot of fun! In January I read 6,839 pages, 676 from actual books and 6,163 from graphic novels or manga. I read 36 books in total.
This year I kinda switched up how I fill out the monthly. At the beginning of the month, I block out the days that aren't part of the month with washi tape. And for the days I don't read anything, I also fill it with washi tape. It's a good excuse to use up the many rolls of washi that I have.
I also started highlighting the books that I have finished reading on that day. And then on the left side I write down the titles as I finish them.
My daily pages have largely stayed the same. From February 2-3, I read five books and wrote what I learned/thought about them. I keep track of how many chapters (if it's manga) and how many pages I've read that day. I put a total number of pages I read that day at the top of the page.
Books in January 2024
I really only read two actual books in January: The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath and They Say/I Say by Gerald Graff and Cathy Birkenstein. I have already written a review about what I thought about The Bell Jar on my Bookwyrm instance, here. I originally thought it would take me around 23 days to read this book (at 10 pages or 30 minutes of reading per day) but I devoured this book. I spent 5 actual days reading it across 12 days. I find fiction is a lot easier for me to read compared to non-fiction, which is what They Say/I Say was.
I have yet to write a review on They Say/I Say but it greatly changed my outlook on how to approach making arguments, both in and out of an academic setting. There was a lot of information in this 300+ paged book. I had to slow down and fully digest what I was reading so that I could understand their techniques. In hindsight, it feels like a lot of common sense but sometimes you need to put the obvious into words in order to fully understand it.
Outside of these two books, I read a fuck ton of manga. On the first of January I finished reading the Bloom Into You series. I was a little hesitant to read this because of the art style. However, it was placed in a high school setting so I could forgive the more childlike looking characters. I found the series to be quite tender and sweet. I was a little sad to part ways with it.
In January I started re-reading two series: Yotsuba&! and Ao Haru Ride. I first read Yotsuba&! a few years ago. Actually, I don't remember if I ever finished reading the series. This was one of the very first manga I read, back in elementary school (this was 18 years ago!!!). Yotsuba&! definitely stands the test of time. It's very much just an episodic slice of life but it's wholesome and makes you long for the innocence childhood. It's also immensely funny and made me laugh out loud a few times.
Ao Haru Ride is a manga I read just last year. I don't know why but I think this manga might be the quintessential romance shoujo manga for me. Whenever I read the prologue chapter, I tear up. It's not even that sad. But it feels so pure and heartfelt. I really love the relationship between the protagonist and the main love interest. I find they really do have a lot of chemistry together that doesn't feel forced. It's such a good manga!
There was one new manga series that I became insanely invested in. I think it's still ongoing. It's called Sensitive Boy. It covers a sensitive (hah) topic that I think isn't talked about enough: a male student is raped by a teacher. I was really touched by how the student had such a supportive environment but also a little sad because it felt more like wish fulfillment. I don't see it playing out in real life like this at all. Despite all this, the main character still has a lot that he goes through in the aftermath of this traumatic event. A nice coming of age story. I am eagerly waiting for more.
January Reading Habits
I do most of my manga reading on the computer. If I'm having trouble sleeping then I do some reading on my phone while in bed, hah. I do like reading manga but I wonder if I can substitute some of that reading with reading more physical books. Now, physical books does not always mean non-graphic novels. I went to the library a couple of weeks ago and all the books I took out were graphic novels or manga. I did this because I know myself. They are easier for me to read. Because I'm taking courses on top of full time work, I don't have a lot of time to squeeze in regular reading. This is also why I do most of my reading on the computer. It's just easier for me to finish a session of school work and take a break by clicking over to a new tab and reading there.
But I do want to read more physical books. When I was living alone I would eat with a book in hand. But now that I am living with my parents again and we eat meals together, I can't exactly do that if I want to be present with them. Nowadays, I only read physical books on my commute to and from work. The things is I don't go to work every day, just two or three days a week.
I am still figuring out my routine, even though I still feel pretty set on it. I wonder if there's a way to squeeze in some more reading here and there. I think my mental block is that squeezing in just a few minutes here and there doesn't feel like I would be doing an actual book justice. With graphic novels, it's a little bit easier to dip in and out. Maybe I'm overthinking it and I should just try shorter bursts of reading, even if it's just during 5 minutes of downtime.
february, already
2024-02-02
January flew by. I want to say it's because a lot has happened in January but I'm not so sure how true that is.
- Started blogging more
- Started the second semester of school
- Started going back to the gym to lift weights
- Started using Focusmate.com again to... well, focus
- Finished writing a piece of fiction (read it here)
- Finished two books: "The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath (read my short review here) and "They Say / I Say" by Gerald Graff and Cathy Birkenstein
- Finished a fuck ton of manga (I will not even bother listing them all)
- Stayed pretty consistent with my journals minus one week where I didn't journal at all
- Went out with my cousins and brother
- Ate at a new restaurant (food was good, service was atrocious)
Seeing as we're already well into February, I hope to just continue the things that I've been doing. I think I've finally gotten into a good routine. However, my weekends have kinda been a crapshoot. I procrastinate a toooon on the weekend. If I didn't, I could easily save myself some stress during the week. And maybe I would have more time to do other hobbies, like blog. Well. I'll try my best this weekend, I guess!
tipping the scales the other way
2024-01-21
i cupped my cheek and was shocked at how it
no longer filled my hand.
did i go too far? was i too zealous
in my delight of seeing the numbers slowly tick down to 0?
every part of myself is shrinking but i'm still
not yet satisfied. even though every time i look
in the mirror i am taken aback
by the person looking
back at me. i am afraid of hating
the person in the mirror,
as if the person in the mirror wasn't always me
the entire time.
Responding to You
2024-01-18
It's so strange how my past relationships were with people who I didn't particularly get along with. And I don't mean that I fought with them often. I mean that conversation was just hard with them. Conversation is hard for me with anyone, honestly. I can count on one hand the number of people that I consistently had good conversations with.
One of those people was friends with my ex. I wondered why it was so easy for me to talk to them but not my ex. I realized it was because my ex's friend was curious. They asked me questions to get the conversation started and it went on from there.
I brought this up to my ex. Maybe they could start asking me more questions and then I would talk more. The most bizzare thing is that they refused my request. They wanted me to be able to say things out of my own volition. Essentially what he said was, "I don't think I should need to do that. I'll wait for you until you want to say something."
This disappointed me. It's so hard for me conjure conversation topics just out of the thin air. I wasn't joking when I told him I needed something to respond to. Obviously, this guy is an ex for a reason.
This post that you are reading right now is also a response to something. Not all things I respond to is external. Sometimes it's just me responding to my own thoughts. What triggered this response was me realizing that I was falling fast for someone.
I was falling for someone who I can easily talk to. It's a first for me in a very long time. I suddenly feel like my voice is coming out for once. I kinda wrote about it before here. I do feel embarassed sometimes after talking to this person. But this feeling is so new to me that I can't quite seem to stop wanting to talk to them.
What I think sets this person apart from other people I've talked to is that they always have something to say back. And because I am also curious about them as well, I ask them questions back. If there are no questions, somehow my mind can make a connection to another topic almost immediately. And we have fun with our conversations. It can be lighthearted or it can be a little serious. This sounds like just a normal conversation but trust me when I say I've never had this to this extent before.
My mind just needs to be able to react to something. Maybe I need to react to the enthusiasm that another person radiates. Or maybe it's just plain chemistry. I'm not asking to have insane levels of chemistry with everyone. I just want enough conversational skills to be normal.
What's Wrong With You?
2024-01-13
When I told one of my relatives that I was still single, they looked at me bewildered and exclaimed, "What's wrong with you?"
I know exactly what is wrong with me. But this is still a ridiculous question! There is nothing wrong with people who are single. I don't blame people who are single, by choice or just by circumstances. I am a mix of both.
The idea of dating makes me hesitant. In some ways, I am way too self aware to start dating again. There is a lot that I've learned about myself from my past relationships and it isn't pretty. Yes, I crush and fall for people easily, but the thought of actually being in a romantic relationship turns me cold. I'm just not confident I could avoid repeating my same mistakes (cue Julia Jacklin's Turn Me Down), despite having gone to therapy and continually working on my flaws. Dealing with your own baggage can be quite a lot. It plants seeds of doubt in my head of whether or not I'm even cut out for a relationship in general.
And those are just me problems. Trying to find someone in the first place gives me anxiety. I think most people my age (post-college age but like never-been-married age) use dating apps and that is not how I work. Granted, I've never used a dating app to get a date. I have used Bumble to go on friend dates, though. It was easy enough to setup a profile with minimal effort and I got matches well enough. Still, all of my matches went nowhere. Lack of chemistry, flakiness, ghosting, you've probably heard it all by now. In the end, it's just a numbers game. But I don't want it to be a game. I'm too much of a romantic. I want a meet cute. I want to get to know someone slowly over time. With a lack of places to organically meet people (other than like, work), it can be hard to foster relationships in a more personal way.
I'm not trying disparage the usage of dating apps. I know a lot of long term couples who have met on dating apps (okay, two, but that's like a solid 40% of my sample size) so it's definitely possible. It's just whether or not I want to go through the grind of it all. Because from what I hear (and have experienced from the platonic version), it is a grind.
But when I think a little more practically about finding a partner, it's not enough to leave it to chance. There's just so many things you need to think about. When I was younger, it was okay to date someone just because I liked them. I never stopped to think things like, "Would this person be compatible with my friends? My family (especially important because I'm living in a very white country as a POC)? My lifestyle? My values? My cat?" Now that I have a few relationships under my belt, those are things that concern me. Maybe you do need something like a dating app to be able to quickly filter people who don't fit the criteria. Of course, a dating profile is not a tell all about a person, but it could give enough hints about where they stand on things.
The most damning thing though, is that I don't know if I even have room in my life right now for dating. It's kinda funny to say that as someone who stays at home 99% of the time. Ever since I moved back home (who wants to date a 29 year old still living at home?), I don't like the idea of dating in my current environment. Lately, I have been focused on my parents, especially as they are aging and becoming frailer by the year. I've become the breadwinner in my family and picking up more responsibilities from them. I've also been having health issues that I'm currently trying to resolve. Additionally, I'm going back to school which sucks up a lot of my time. And since becoming single (four years ago) I realized that I have hobbies (!!). Hobbies are something that always seems to fall by the wayside whenever I get into relationships. Frankly, I've just been enjoying the time I have to myself.
There isn't anything wrong with any of the reasons above for my singleness. I think a lot of my relatives have different ideas of how someone should live life and that just doesn't align with their ideals. I enjoy being single. I can have crushes without expectations of anything and just enjoy flirting for the sake of it. Yes, I get wistful from time to time, but it's just not a priority for me at the moment. Maybe it will happen, maybe it won't. I'm just taking each day as it comes.