2023-10-28
I fell in love with someone whose job was, essentially, to be nice to me.
When he awkwardly reached his hand over to clear away a plate, I realized that the way I arranged my dishes was in the way. I apologized as I hastily moved them around. In the most genuinely sweet tone, a few shades above a whisper, he said, “Don’t be sorry. Don’t be sorry.”
The way he said those simple six words felt like a gentle, reassuring pat on the head. I could have wept on the spot. It’s easy to laugh off being extremely apologetic as a stereotypical Canadian quirk. At the root of it though, I often felt like most apologies that left my mouth were apologies for merely existing and here was this beautiful twenty-something telling me to not be sorry. It was an innocuous interaction but it stayed implanted in my mind.
After paying the bill (and giving a generous tip), I thought about coming back to the restaurant. The dessert—a decadent slice of ice cream cake topped with torched meringue—had barely settled in my stomach and I was already dreaming about eating it again.
But the thought of seeing the young waiter once more made me seriously reconsider. It isn’t an uncommon occurrence for me to fall in love with strangers. A little projection and a dash of fantasy and, boom, that person stuck in your mind for the next hour, maybe even the next 24 hours. Yes, love probably isn’t the most accurate word for this phenomenon but lust doesn’t suit it either. Still, whatever word you want to use, it’s awkward to think about someone, especially a stranger, like that. In these instances, I like to move on and hopefully never see that person again.
Maybe I’ll come back in a year. Turnaround for servers surely can’t be that long. Restaurants in general seem to have a short shelf life these days, too. But I really do want to try that cake again.
2023-03-19
I was reading more Ancient Astrology this week and was reading about aspects. Demetra George went a little overkill with the repetition, hah. But it helped it stick in my head!
In Hellenistic astrology, the conjunction is not actually an aspect. The word they use for it is “co-presence.” It’s neither a good nor a bad thing, it really just depends on the planets.
There are some obvious good and bad aspects. The best aspect a planet can have is a trine (120 degrees or 3 signs between). A sextile (60 degrees or 1 sign between) is good too but it is only mildly supportive. The worst aspect is arguably the opposition. It is the opposite in every way: modality, triplicity, and gender. Squares (90 degrees or 2 signs between) are also not that great. These signs only have the modality in common with each other.
What I found really interesting was the fact that the Thema Mundi provides a basis for determining the quality of the aspects. The Moon is the ruler of Cancer. When the rays are projected from the moon, it makes aspects to Venus (sextile), Mars (square), Jupiter (trine), and Saturn (opposition). The same goes for the Sun, the ruler of Leo. Wild.
Speaking of planets, what planets are aspecting what also indicates the quality of the aspect. Benefics will always do good. Malefics in a “good” aspect may reduce harm or provide benefits at a cost. Malefics in a “bad” aspect are always bad and can increase the malefic qualities of the planet.
When I looked at my own chart, I realized that Mars and Saturn can see ALL the planets in my chart… That’s great, hah.
2023-03-12
I’ve been making my way slowly through one of Future Learn’s courses on poetry. It’s a bit slow but so far I have learned about different forms of poems. The main ones that are covered are sonnets (14 line poems that may or may not have a rhyming scheme) and ghazals (poems of at least a handful of couplets, involving much repetition and/or rhyming).
There was a section on metre but I am terrible at trying to figure metre out. I’m trying to slowly scan through one of Shakespeare’s sonnets and failing. Even though it is mostly in iambic pentameter (one of the most common rhythms in poetry: a stressed syllable every other syllable, ten syllables per line), the exceptions are what throws me off. Reading a poem out loud can be drastically different from reading a poem out loud (if you know, you know).
2023-03-05
Okay… I actually read 110 Hours! It was a rough two days. I basically spent every free second reading in order to make it to the 110 hour mark. But I did it! It was fun and my life feels a little more empty without the challenge, haha.
2023-02-27
I am partaking in a reading challenge that my local library is doing. So far I have read 100 hours. Which means I read 20 hours last week!
It was a loooot of reading but I didn’t quite make it to 110 hours. The challenge is over tomorrow (not sure if it’s over at midnight or like mid-day tomorrow).
Next week I’ll have a proper retrospective on the challenge as a whole.
The thing about having multiple books on the go is that reading takes a little longer, BUT sometimes I am able to finish multiple books at once (like I did this week).