2025-04-18
Joel tagged me in a blogging challenge, and while I don't feel inclined to answer the questions directly, I now feel like I want to talk about technology broadly.
In Nat's post, Studying computer science at the end of history, they said, "The truth is I find being a computer science student incredibly embarrassing." I nodded my head vigorously at this, despite our reasons for it being completely different. I feel the same way as someone who is somewhat generally interested in technology. I, snobbishly, don't want to be grouped in with people who are "techies." Also, I don't really feel like someone who is "interested in technology."
My interest in technology has waned over time. The last time I got really excited over something "technology" related was discovering the Fediverse back in 2021 or 2022. I thought it was so cool that there were alternatives to "Big Social Media" and that even I, could run my own social media server that talks to other social media servers. My first Mastodon instance was even Fosstodon. However, ever since spinning up my own Mastodon instance, the excitement quickly faded. Once given the "behind the scenes" of something, I think it loses some of that allure.
Writing this now, I think I realize that Fosstodon has contributed a lot to my dislike of "technology culture." I just couldn't take being around so many tech bros, that I deliberately distanced myself from it, and spun up my own Mastodon instance. There is nothing wrong inherently, with being a "techo bro." I am just personally averse to people who make technology their entire personality (which is rich, coming from someone who makes music their entire personality), and them interacting with me like I am also just as passionate about FOSS/software/linux/technology as they are. Maybe Fosstodon didn't really make me dislike technology, but rather, showed me that I don't like technology like that.
Of course, I'm not entirely divorced from technology. I self host a bunch of services for myself. I vaguely keep up to date with tech news (mostly through osmosis from people around me). I am still a software developer, after all. I like to solve problems with code. I also spend a fuck ton of my time on screens.
I think these days, I largely see technology as a tool, rather than something to get excited over. When I think about it, I actually made this realization years ago. I was expressing dissatisfaction with my career choice to my therapist. They asked me why I got into software development in the first place. I said, "it was a vehicle for my writing." Now, I would say it is a vehicle for my self expression. Technology enables me to express myself and share it with others. From the humble pen and paper, to the bloated CMS, to the decentralized social network, to the laggy video calls, to the real time live concerts... All of it just an outlet. Technology may change, but my desire for self expression will not.